Church Pension Group | Spouses and Partners

Spouses and Partners

Amit Sood, author of The Mayo Clinic Guide to Stress-Free Living, says the keys to coping and relieving stress include:

  • Having an attitude of gratitude,
  • Accepting people, especially your spouse, for who they are,
  • Being kind to others and yourself, and
  • Creatively tackling your stressors

Your spouse or partner may have a different vision for an ideal retirement than you do. Discussing each of your retirement dreams and working together toward a joint dream can help to reduce the stress (for both of you) as you retire. And, your relationships will change during retirement, especially for your spouse, friend or family member with whom you will spend the major portion of your retirement time. For some the change is significant; for others, less so. 

Our Relationship Checklist may help you and your significant other to reflect on what you really want in retirement and provide you both with questions to discuss together as you learn to navigate retirement and determine your retirement goals.

One of the joys and challenges in retirement is having the time to nurture relationships. You’ll have time to reconnect with your spouse, partner, and family in a different way, without the emotional and time demands of work. However, you need to recognize that retirement itself can be stressful and you may need to “renegotiate” your relationships.

  • Some issues that existed in your relationships before retirement may not be solved by your retirement.
  • You may feel lonely and isolated after leaving your church, and need to take steps to build new relationships.
  • You may not be able to spend as much time as you envisioned spending with your children and grandchildren

Retirement can provide you with time to develop different relationships with those around you.

For example, one of the keys to interacting with your children and grandchildren is give them space and, when you are with them, try to help and support them with their daily chores, homework, or projects. Adult children may have a lot going on in their lives. Being aware of that can help you adjust your expectations so you don't end up nagging them or getting depressed over not seeing them enough.

And, this may be a time to explore forgiveness and reconciliation for the more difficult relationships in your life. You don't want to close your life with regrets.

If you need help...

Many retirees are concerned about being a burden to their spouse, children or family. Planning can help you anticipate your or your family’s needs if you or your spouse or partner require caregiving during retirement. Caregiving can disrupt the most carefully planned retirement. Responding to these situations becomes easier if options are thought through in advance. Our Caregiver's Checklist can help assist you with making plans and decisions before you need them.

Tips & Resources - Spouses and Partners
What to do after a loss? Click here to view a checklist of tasks to do after the loss of a spouse or partner.